When it matters most

I've had a rough week.

Rough being too nice a word for the mental, emotional, and physical stresses I've had in the past 9 days.
I need a vacation. Which is funny because I just had one, only it consisted of institutions, fights, little sleep, and a lot of drugs. So I need a vacation from my "vacation".

I was happy to get back to NYC, stick my head under the covers and tune out the world for a day.
I was also really happy to see "my" boys again. I missed their little faces, their laughs, their carefree take on the world and the sweet innocence they bring to my day.

Lately Jasper has REALLY been acting up. Hitting, kicking, name calling, spitting, pushing, and shoving. Most of this is directed at his little brother Hayden and most of it is from jealousy and a desire for attention--even though he gets copious amounts from all of us. It has been out of control and not fun, on top of dangerous and frustrating. He's the cutest, sweetest boy and to be going through this with him and trying to find the right way to address it is difficult.

Today as we were walking to the park I took his hand and the following conversation ensued:

JASPER: "Sawah, why are you holding my hand?"
ME: "I like holding your hand because I love you."
JASPER: "Oh!" *smile*
**Walk a block, stop at crosswalk, wait for our turn**
JASPER: "Sawah. You're a GREAT Nanny!!!"

And at that moment, with everything else I have going on right now, the love & sincerity of a 4yr is all I needed to know that I'm doing a good job and everything is going to be ok. It's moments like those that make it all worth it!

Thanks, Jasper!