"Pere-amas"

This year my Dad would've been fifty-six. It's hard to believe its nearly been a year and a half since his death. That this is only the second would-be-birthday. With everything else going on in my consistently chaotic but largely wonderful life, the vacant space my Dad has left isn't always the first thing on my mind, but it is certainly there.

The day before my Dad's birthday (Aug. 14th) I mentioned to Tom that the would-be day was approaching. To which he responded, "We should celebrate! Jesus has Christmas, your Dad should have...Pere-amas! Pere for father, plus 'mas'... yeah!"

Well, we are trying to be like Jesus, right? So the following day in honor of "Peramas" Tom and I did a gift exchange of sorts. Tom set a dollar and time limit of five dollars and thirty minutes to get something for each other. Then we met back at Tom's to exchange.

From Tom, I got skull and cross bone earrings, a hilarious birthday card with a very sweet message, and a post card to send to my brother who's having a really difficult time right now and in turn my family and I are as well. Tom, accountant extraodinaire that he is, even had thrity five cents to spare, and also gifted that to me. Hey big spender.

I got Tom two ping pong ball guns (for us to shoot at each other), a mini deck of cards (we love playing games, especially on the go), a "Happy Birthday Father" card (with some adjustments), and candy (he has the biggest sweet tooth of anyone I have ever met, and the least cavities--no fair!).

The five dollar limit included wrapping so I used magazine pages from a magazine I had on me and the black plastic shopping bag everything came in. Tom was able to squeeze everything into the card envelope, upon which he wrote another sweet note / rhyme on for me to read before I opened it.

It was an activity that was so simple and silly, yet thoughtful and meaningful. It focused the attention on my Dad yet relieved the sadness of it not really being his day anymore. Re-focusing it on each other in a light-hearted way allowed me to keep the memory of my Dad and my love for birthdays alive. I know it is something he would've appreciated, and I certainly did.

I keep pinching myself and expecting to wake up, but it turns out I really do have a beyond wonderful boyfriend. I am so lucky to have such a caring man in my life, who not only puts me first, but also my [complicated but lovable] family as well. So. Lucky.