FML

My amazing friend Karine is always telling me I need to read this blog called F*** My Life: Your everyday Life stories.

She'll pull it up on her phone and read off blurbs from it in the middle of play dates and we'll laugh until our sides hurt.

It's my new addiction. I often laugh until I cry and have come to realize how many "FML" moments I have all the time!

Here are a few of my favorites:

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. My nose bled all over the table. He hasn't called me since. FML

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML