Next time, I'm spitting back!

I love my job, I love "my" kids. I love my job, I love "my" kids. I love my job, I love "my kids. Rinse. Repeat. Daily.

I really do love my job, as you are all well aware, but child rearing has its hard days as any parent or nanny can attest. I have a particularly hard time with "my" 4 1/2yr old, Jasper. He's equal parts good and evil. The good days are great, the bad days are awful and there's no in between. Week 2 of London and week 3 of vacation in total (they were in Nevis Christmas week) is starting to wear Jasper down I think. I think he misses school, home, and his routine. I think he's also sick of only having Hayden to play with and misses being around kids his age. Or maybe I just need there to be an excuse so I don't fall apart at the thought that he's still going to be like this when we return to life in NYC....because he kind of already was before we left.

I didn't blog about the day Jasper got in a fight at school a couple weeks ago (and had it rightfull handed to him by the girl he attacked) and 5 minutes after I picked him up and had to speak with the teacher he SPIT in my FACE. Yeah. It happened. I did post a picture of his face all clawed up in on of my "Week in Pictures" but I was too angry to put feelings into words. If you know me, you know that's really, really bad. As bad as silence, which is what he got from me and pretty much all he got because there was no punishment for the spitting (or school incident) when we got home. Which also angered me to no end. I'm all for positive rewarding and being positive, but there need to be consequences for totally unacceptable behaviors. Lets just say from that point on things haven't exactly gotten better.....

Lately my mornings begin with "I hate you!" in the first 5 minutes. In case that doesn't get the message across there's also a song, sung to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb, that goes "Sarah is the worst Nanny in the world". It's quite catchy. If that doesn't work he likes to complain to his parents, who only reinforce whatever it is I'm doing so you'd think he'd get the point by now. Usually all this is his response to me asking him to get dressed or something. It only gets better from there. At least 20 more times (on a good day) he tells me he hates me whenever I talk to him and will hit, kick or throw things if he doesn't get his way or is prevented from doing something he shouldn't be. Like getting into sweets/snacks, pressing all the buttons in the elevator, spilling water or milk on purpose, teasing, saying mean things, or his favorite past time: attacking Hayden (20 months) and teaching him to hit and spit. I don't do hitting or spitting. They are my BIGGEST child peeves. Disgusting, rude, and the deepest form of disrespect I think anyone can show--child or adult. Jasper has a very difficult time controlling himself and instead of "using his words" he'll act out if he doesn't like what he hears; with anyone. That is when he hears anything. He has an equally difficult time listening and taking direction. So it can be quite the struggle getting out the door or going places when you have a 20 month old being "very 2" and a near 5 year old being "very 2". It's equally hard not being able to leave them alone in the same room because Jasper cannot resist hurting Hayden and doesn't understand the boundary of injury or feelings of remorse. Even when he is attacked back out of self defense. Instead of pulling back and learning a lesson, he attacks harder. Of course Hayden worships Jasper, despite the constant attacking, because he's his big brother. Lots of times he's a good big brother, it's not all bad. However, this causes Hayden to mimic the behavior he sees, and for the past 2 days he has been hitting me when I tell him "No". Jasper thinks hitting, pinching, kicking, pushing or Hayden doing dangerous things (like sticking metal in electrical sockets) are funny. So when he does these things and Hayden cries or says "No!" Jasper laughs in his face. When Hayden hits and I tell him "No" he laughs in my face. I've started holding his hands for 2 minutes so he can't play and he gets that it's not o.k. and stops, but the whole purpose is really moot since Jasper gets away with the same behavior without any consequences of lasting impression. It is SO FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!

Today was a hard day. We had 2 really fun morning & afternoon outings once we got out, but in taxis, at meal times, or at the hotel it's just constant fighting, attacking, whining, crying, and ridiculous behavior. Some of it is age appropriate (especially Hayden's) and that I don't mind. Most of it isn't though and it drives me CRAZY. Patience, patience, patience. I have a lot of patience, but it's starting to wear thin. I literally wanted to spit, kick, pinch and shove Jasper back after the hundredth time. The "I hate you's" don't bother me, even if at the moment he really does hate me, but the physical stuff grates on my last nerve. To quote Muhammad Ali: "If you even dream of beating me you better wake up and apologize!"